Keeping Promises

*Jordin wanted to post a blog and I promised to post. Blog is below, included a story of another promise I will TRY to always keep:


This is a waterfall in Hawaii. images-149

Hawaii has eight main islands and 7 are permanent islands.


The Promise

Physical punishment, aka spankings, aka ass whoopings, is part of minority culture when a child is out of line or needs discipline. There have been a few times I think I absolutely lost my mind on Jordin and ALMOST forgot my promise that I would always be patient with him. Like the time one of his Aunts left town a day early and he threw a temper tantrum along with a smoothie at the back of Jemarie’s head on the drive home. He was lucky Jemarie didn’t pull that car over because I was getting ready to dial up Gerrelaine or Daren to give them the heads up it was about to go down. The rest of the ride with Jordin screaming in the car forced me to tune him out and come to my Zen. It made me think if I did spank him it would reinforce that it is ok to completely lose your temper when things are not going your way. So I talked to Jordin later that day to tell him I would always try to have a backup plan in my head to get him in line or I’ll just let him have a meltdown no matter where we are so he can self-soothe. Right, no F’s given when strangers are looking at us in public. Jemarie is the more maternal person anyway, she’ll give him all the hugs and kisses he needs later. lol

images-154The biggest test of my promise was when he was like 5. He wanted to walk to the store to get snacks when we already had snacks in the house. He quickly realized I was dead serious about not walking to the grocery store because I was making bomb Sinagong at the time. His response was yelling. I took a step back and calmly told him not to yell at me, he can have option (A)pple or (B)anana. Obviously, he didn’t like the options and decided he would pick option C, hit me. Oh man, Grandma Annie Lee Rhodes Ficklin came through my one arm and I snatched that kid up so fast staring at his eyes to say “Never hit me again, Jordin!” In this staring contest, I knew I was winning…this fool pinches me. I blinked twice, I think the calm that came over me scared him more than anything. I sat him at the dining table and unplugged every single electronic, even the alarm clock, locked them up along with a storybook we were creating, his art supplies…PLUS his homework. He knows how much I think education and creativity are the keys to success. I was like “Look, Jordin, you sit here and have a time-out and I’m putting myself into time-out because I do not know what to do except throw away everything, including my X-Box 360” (we were playing his age-appropriate racing game instead of mine – grrr). Jemarie came home and saw all the lights off except the stove hood light over the boiling soup with Jordin quietly looking at the table. She asked where was I, Jordin told her I was still in time-out and he was waiting for me to come out to tell him when it was over. Hell, it was going to be over as soon as I finished cleaning my room. I didn’t have time earlier entertaining him, so I did a little something for me. I walked out the room like nothing happened, put the TV and everything else back while talking to Jemarie about her day and giving Jordin a snack. Hopefully, he learned not only will I keep a promise, but there is always a choice in your reaction to situations.

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